Thursday, March 19, 2009

It's over?

A wild week…..My husband being the great worker he is must have had way too much to drink that night working on the trim! Which if two guys getting together…..leads to drinking….and drunken banter… and smoke breaks….And more drinking, so when I tell you….. which I wish I could say was good news….. it’s not! I can see over a half inch between the joints where the crown molding attaches; The sad truth is…. he truly remembered doing a great job!
So how do you tell your husband the next day the work he did; sucked!!!! Well I called him and gently asked him not to be mad at me, but I hate it! Then….
it gets even better
Now you know that I haven’t been posting daily for awhile; I have been too hurt and devastated to write….to… try and pretend that everything is fine. My husband gave me the talk… and it appears that this studio was just supposed to be a place for me to draw! Not a business!!!!! Or anything serious!!! with an Opening date or not for me to fix and have running right away!
I knew it was too good to be true! I always said “that when the last child went to school full time I would try and be an artist.”
So is it failure when you didn’t even try?
The sad thing is I actually believed him, that he really cared and understood. When the smarter me inside said? ’WHAT THE FU*K IS GOING ON? …..WHY IS HE BEING SO NICE?
Excuse the French!
I guess the truth hurts! He must think I’m only good enough to give away stuff, to people we know. All day today I ran around without even showing that it mattered to him, but hell!! It does matter, and it hurts pretty damn bad ! I thought it was bad enough that all my stuff got ruined (mold & water damage)!!! but I must have been the biggest fool to believe … to believe that he was actually going to fix up this place and invest in me!
I know I said I wouldn’t use this form to be negative, and I am trying not to be bitter; but for 9 years, I have supported him in his business! Even when times were tuff and still are!! I’m there and believe in him!
I got it out!!! There!~! I am mad as hell at him!
I still don’t know what I am going to do. I just had to come here tonight (the studio)and stare….. Look around….. I am confused & I am not a quitter!!
However I am getting tired of fighting….With the kids….the bank…. and now the husband. With all that has come up; I have two weeks left on this months rent. I am not giving up yet, but I am praying for a miracle. I will keep everyone posted by at the moment renovations have come to a halt!
Please understand that I am angry at my hubbie now; I hope he will be reasonable & reconsider, he really is the greatest! I’m hoping that being mad at his work is what caused all this? Who knows?
All this work… being led here…all for nothing? It really would be wonderful if someone would give me some advice!
Sincerely: Looking for Neverland!!!

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